Posted by QuickReadAbout.com Staff in Who Should – And Shouldn’t – Host a Baby Shower
You may have read many so-called etiquette reports about who should and shouldn’t hostess a baby shower for the expectant mother. How can you sort through all the information and make a decision about whether or not you as a hostess would be an appropriate choice? And is there ever a time when etiquette should be set aside or outright ignored?
To answer those questions, first consider why it is that we have rules of etiquette about everything, including baby showers. These rules exist so that we can remember to take other people’s feelings into consideration; it’s poor etiquette to chew with your mouth open because no one wants to see all that, and it’s poor etiquette to hostess your own baby shower because it looks like you’re just asking people for gifts. Once you understand that etiquette exists to force you to put yourself in someone else’s place and see how they might feel about your behavior, then you can better decide what so-called rules of etiquette you should and should not allow your behavior to be dictated by.
So, what about family? Why is it frowned upon to have a relative hostess a baby shower for a woman? The main reason is that it’s somewhat intrusive for a mother to have a shower for her own daughter, as if demanding that you buy presents for her. Think of how often you run into a situation where you’re pressured to buy candy or cookies or wrapping paper or something else because this person’s child is having a fund raiser for their school or their scout troop or for whatever reason. Having a baby shower for your own child is somewhat similar, and this too is why it’s usually not a good idea for a close relative such as a sister or aunt to hostess it either.
But sometimes these rules of etiquette can be set aside in certain circumstances. For instance, the expectant mother’s friends and relatives may not be so picky about stringent rules of etiquette. They may see nothing wrong with a sister or aunt arranging a baby shower. In some cases, they may even expect it. There may be certain groups who really don’t care or even pay attention to who is hosting. For example, the girls from the office may not even realize that it’s a sister or aunt that is arranging the event, and aren’t really that concerned anyway. In some families where everyone is very close and tight-knit, they may all arrange baby showers for each other, or one particular person may be the very organized one that everyone counts on to get things done.
When it comes to relationships outside the family, there does need to be some caution exercised. If you’re the boss or manager of a company and you invite women to attend baby showers for a relative of yours and they don’t even know the person, you could be abusing your position in the company just to solicit gifts.